Cheaters never prosper. The truth shall set you free. Be true to thyself it will follow as night the day: thou canst not be false to any man.
I bought my bathroom scale at Shopko. It cost me five dollars. I love it. I have discovered that by standing on it a certain way, I lose 15 pounds. I put my heels together and lean my weight back, like I'm doing some absurd ballet move. "I weight 189! The scale says so!" Except that when I step on the electronic ones, the reading is quite different, and I can't fool it into saying something more appropriate. If I weight 189, I only have 19 pounds to lose. However, if I only weigh 189, my pants should fit much better than they do, and I don't feel quite the need to work off my weight.
Last week, I decided to stop pretending, to "get real" about my weight, as the book I am following urged me to do four weeks ago. I have lost a few pounds, I believe. But I am not quite where I've been pretending to myself that I am. I do have several challenges to overcome, and I can do it. I can fit back into my size 10 pants... although I am going to have to revise my time schedule. But that's okay. The results will be worth it.
Showing posts with label wellness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wellness. Show all posts
Monday, November 16, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
The Long Haul
Last week I didn't feel like I did well at all with the weight loss thing. I had a hard time exercising, and my eating habits were all over the place. By Friday I had resigned myself to either not losing anything or, possibly, gaining a little bit back. I kicked up my efforts a little bit Saturday and Sunday, and figured it was okay because I was ahead a little bit on my schedule anyway. Of course, this got me thinking about what it really means to lose weight. One of my favorite parts of the Dr. Phil book is when he talks about habits. See, it takes a long time to get fat. Consequently, you can't expect to get thin overnight. It's definitely easier to get fat than thin, but better to get thin (by being healthy and making good choices). Hence, if I'm going to do this right, I am in it for the long haul, and I'm okay with that.
Also, I would like to fulfill a couple of assignments in Dr. Phil's book. The first is to fantasize. I love this part. The instructions are to dream about what you would like to feel once you have attained your goal. You see, losing weight is not about how you look. In the innermost heart, you don't care what you look like. You care about how you feel. So this is what I want:
A. I want to slide right into my size 10 jeans without it turning into the pants dance. I don't want to jump, do squats to stretch them, or lay down to flatten my belly enough to squeeze those buttons closed. I want to finish buttoning my pants and not feel like a muffin that has exploded over the sides of the pan. I want to put on my shirts and not have to worry so much about the unsightly bulges. I want to feel like I can walk into my closet and put on any of my clothes and be both decent and attractive. I want to go shopping for clothes and not feel like I am completely out of place because nothing there was meant to fit somebody of my shape and size.
B. I want to know that I have control of my body- before I have my next child. I feel almost certain that if I lapse into complacency now, after having gained 20 unwarranted pounds, that each subsequent child will gain me another 20 pounds and I will never again find the will and control or even the desire to be the healthiest, best me I can be. I want to know that I can control my weight and my body. I want to know that I can orchestrate my life such that I can eath well and take the time to exercise, not only for me, but also for my family.
C. I want to feel like I can move. There's something delicious about being in shape, and strong, and flexible. I love being able to do physical labor, to get on a horse, to get down on the ground and up again with ease. When I am strong and flexible, I get a little thrill every time I bend over to touch the ground and my legs remain straight.
The second assignment is to analyze your eating habits. Basically, you answer the five questions you would ask of any journalist on any random story.
How: I tend to eat without thinking about what I'm doing. I enjoy doing other things while eating: reading, working on the computer, or even watching movies. Often I eat while feeding Cara. However, I have become more aware of the eating process.
Where: This is difficult for me right now, as we don't have a table and we eat on stools at a bar. Hence, I tend to eat on the couch or the computer chair, especially when Ryan is not at home.
What: I have actually been getting better at this. I have incorporated more fruits, vegetables, and proteins into my diet, which is good. Unfortunately, I also still eat grains in disproportionate amounts.
Why: Food is comfort for me. One of my favorite activities has always been to sit down with a book and a bowl of dry cereal. And I'll often go back for another bowl or two. I eat when I am stressed. In fact, right now as I write this, I feel myself getting stressed and my first thought is what we have in the pantry...
When: I like to sleep. And lay in bed and read books. Plus, I have to feed Cara. Hence, I often don't eat breakfast until 10 in the morning, which throws the rest of my eating schedule off for the day.
I'm sure much of this looks unnecessary and irrelevant, but I have always enjoyed figuring out exact problems and then taking practical measures to fix them. On the plus side, since going through this plan the first time, and losing 20 pounds with it, I have become much more aware of my eating habits. I need to master as many of them as possible if I am to be truly healthy. And this journey may take my entire life, with periods of ups and downs. Right now is an up, and I will learn as much as I can.
Also, I would like to fulfill a couple of assignments in Dr. Phil's book. The first is to fantasize. I love this part. The instructions are to dream about what you would like to feel once you have attained your goal. You see, losing weight is not about how you look. In the innermost heart, you don't care what you look like. You care about how you feel. So this is what I want:
A. I want to slide right into my size 10 jeans without it turning into the pants dance. I don't want to jump, do squats to stretch them, or lay down to flatten my belly enough to squeeze those buttons closed. I want to finish buttoning my pants and not feel like a muffin that has exploded over the sides of the pan. I want to put on my shirts and not have to worry so much about the unsightly bulges. I want to feel like I can walk into my closet and put on any of my clothes and be both decent and attractive. I want to go shopping for clothes and not feel like I am completely out of place because nothing there was meant to fit somebody of my shape and size.
B. I want to know that I have control of my body- before I have my next child. I feel almost certain that if I lapse into complacency now, after having gained 20 unwarranted pounds, that each subsequent child will gain me another 20 pounds and I will never again find the will and control or even the desire to be the healthiest, best me I can be. I want to know that I can control my weight and my body. I want to know that I can orchestrate my life such that I can eath well and take the time to exercise, not only for me, but also for my family.
C. I want to feel like I can move. There's something delicious about being in shape, and strong, and flexible. I love being able to do physical labor, to get on a horse, to get down on the ground and up again with ease. When I am strong and flexible, I get a little thrill every time I bend over to touch the ground and my legs remain straight.
The second assignment is to analyze your eating habits. Basically, you answer the five questions you would ask of any journalist on any random story.
How: I tend to eat without thinking about what I'm doing. I enjoy doing other things while eating: reading, working on the computer, or even watching movies. Often I eat while feeding Cara. However, I have become more aware of the eating process.
Where: This is difficult for me right now, as we don't have a table and we eat on stools at a bar. Hence, I tend to eat on the couch or the computer chair, especially when Ryan is not at home.
What: I have actually been getting better at this. I have incorporated more fruits, vegetables, and proteins into my diet, which is good. Unfortunately, I also still eat grains in disproportionate amounts.
Why: Food is comfort for me. One of my favorite activities has always been to sit down with a book and a bowl of dry cereal. And I'll often go back for another bowl or two. I eat when I am stressed. In fact, right now as I write this, I feel myself getting stressed and my first thought is what we have in the pantry...
When: I like to sleep. And lay in bed and read books. Plus, I have to feed Cara. Hence, I often don't eat breakfast until 10 in the morning, which throws the rest of my eating schedule off for the day.
I'm sure much of this looks unnecessary and irrelevant, but I have always enjoyed figuring out exact problems and then taking practical measures to fix them. On the plus side, since going through this plan the first time, and losing 20 pounds with it, I have become much more aware of my eating habits. I need to master as many of them as possible if I am to be truly healthy. And this journey may take my entire life, with periods of ups and downs. Right now is an up, and I will learn as much as I can.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Exercise? Pah!
So, the bike riding thing didn't really work out. I got a major cramp in my shoulder and couldn't turn my head for about a week, and then it rained every day for another week. However, I did manage to lose a pound. I did that doing what I can/remember from Dr. Phil's diet plan. I am currently re-reading that book, and loving it! I mean, who doesn't love a diet plan that doesn't require willpower? Awesome.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Hobbies
Here's the deal: I have many hobbies. I enjoy sewing, organizing, camping, exercising and wellness, ceramics, and cooking. I love working with horses, reading, writing, watching movies, and hanging out with my absolutely wonderful family. As a mother, I can't focus on each of these as much as I would like to. Also, as a mother, I believe it is important to focus on them as much as I can. This will not only help my sanity (thus keeping me more pleasant with my family), it will also help my family to understand the importance of enjoying life, of constant improvement, and of discovering and developing their talents.
As I said before, I enjoy organizing, weird though that may be. And so, as I work to improve myself and my abilities, I will do my best to document them. This will help to keep me accountable to myself as well as show how my talents improve from this point forward. It will also help me to prioritize and see where I spend my time. Hopefully, I will come to know myself better and also become a more round person. Well-rounded. Something. :) Stephen Covey would be proud.
To begin, I must start with a story, because that's who I am. :) Yesterday, Ryan and I went to the Temple. It was my first time going in months- understandably, I believe. I went to get dressed for the trip and ended up having a panic attack because I couldn't fit into any of my clothes. I've been just getting by for the last two months, wearing clothes that are not terribly attractive... and wearing them in the wrong places. Like a skirt that is supposed to sit on my hips, but that ends up just under my ribs because that's the only place the waistband would fit. I ended up wearing an old skirt that couldn't zip up all the way and a stretchy shirt. It worked, but I avoided mirrors as much as possible. It seems such a minor thing to be worried about, but one year ago I fit comfortably into size 10 pants. I felt so much better about myself. I had worked hard to get there! Now, I don't even fit comfortably into my size 12s. And so, my goal is to fit back into my size 10s. I am not attaching a timeline to this at the moment, because I have some added challenges from the last two times I lost weight. Really, they're all encompassed in one word: Cara. My wonderful, beautiful, happy daughter. I don't have the freedom of time that I used to have to go exercise whenever I wanted for as long as I wanted. Also, I have to maintain a certain number of calories to ensure that I can feed her. Getting my body back will do me no good whatsoever if I put her in any kind of danger. Hence, for the first little while, I am simply going to figure out how to start shedding excess pounds. The first thing I will do is start riding my bike, 3 days a week, for an hour a day. Wish me luck!
As I said before, I enjoy organizing, weird though that may be. And so, as I work to improve myself and my abilities, I will do my best to document them. This will help to keep me accountable to myself as well as show how my talents improve from this point forward. It will also help me to prioritize and see where I spend my time. Hopefully, I will come to know myself better and also become a more round person. Well-rounded. Something. :) Stephen Covey would be proud.
To begin, I must start with a story, because that's who I am. :) Yesterday, Ryan and I went to the Temple. It was my first time going in months- understandably, I believe. I went to get dressed for the trip and ended up having a panic attack because I couldn't fit into any of my clothes. I've been just getting by for the last two months, wearing clothes that are not terribly attractive... and wearing them in the wrong places. Like a skirt that is supposed to sit on my hips, but that ends up just under my ribs because that's the only place the waistband would fit. I ended up wearing an old skirt that couldn't zip up all the way and a stretchy shirt. It worked, but I avoided mirrors as much as possible. It seems such a minor thing to be worried about, but one year ago I fit comfortably into size 10 pants. I felt so much better about myself. I had worked hard to get there! Now, I don't even fit comfortably into my size 12s. And so, my goal is to fit back into my size 10s. I am not attaching a timeline to this at the moment, because I have some added challenges from the last two times I lost weight. Really, they're all encompassed in one word: Cara. My wonderful, beautiful, happy daughter. I don't have the freedom of time that I used to have to go exercise whenever I wanted for as long as I wanted. Also, I have to maintain a certain number of calories to ensure that I can feed her. Getting my body back will do me no good whatsoever if I put her in any kind of danger. Hence, for the first little while, I am simply going to figure out how to start shedding excess pounds. The first thing I will do is start riding my bike, 3 days a week, for an hour a day. Wish me luck!
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