Sacrilege

As a general rule, I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. I think that if you are going to resolve to do something, you should resolve to do it today. If you're not planning to resolve to do something, New Years is not going to magically make it happen. In the end, you are left with a bunch of things that would be really good to do, but that you never quite had the emotional energy to follow through on. You end up with a mostly empty road paved with good intentions. At least, that's what I do... and I don't want to go any farther down that road, thank you very much!

However, this year I had a problem. For New Year's Eve, I made a chocolate cake. I halved the recipe, but it was still far too much for Ryan and I to eat that night. In the morning, I woke up and there was a chocolate cake staring me in the face. Very strange way to wake up. I tried so hard to convince myself that I wasn't going to eat a piece for breakfast. All the while, my brain was saying things like, "One piece isn't going to kill your diet. Ryan can't eat it all... he gets headaches from eating too much sugar. If I eat it now, it won't be looking at me later. You like chocolate! Give in and eat the thing!" I could feel my convictions crumbling.

And then, I stumbled upon the answer... Like monks of old who take vows of silence, I could take a vow to not eat chocolate! I know, I know, it's crazy. But here's the thing: I've always wanted to so something crazy, something personally enriching, something that others would not necessarily understand, something that I wouldn't understand myself until I undertook the trial. Also, I am working hard to lose a lot of weight... every piece of chocolate cake undermines that goal. Chocolate in and of itself is not bad, and I understand this, but chocolate is, inevitably intertwined with sugar until the two of them are inseperable. By cutting chocolate out of my diet, I would save myself hundreds, or thousands, or hundreds of thousands, of calories. Plus, that chocolate cake that was taunting me for breakfast would no longer be one piece of chocolate cake... it represented a broken vow. I will not be defeated by something so trivial!

I spoke the vow, made the New Year's Resolution, did the dreadful deed that earned me the ridicule of all chocolate believers and the respect of health gurus, and defeated not only one piece of chocolate cake, but hundreds of pieces of candy and cake and hot drinks throughout the upcoming year.

I feel empowered.

The End.