The Burden of Omission

"The only things I regret from the past are the things I didn't do."

These words were spoken to me by a 17 year old girl who had no idea the impact they would have on my life or how they would stick with me. She had spent too much of her high school life going to parties, sneaking out of the house, and not doing her homework. She was in the process of trying to turn herself around, and made that statement in regards to the things that she knew she was supposed to do. The interesting thing, to me, is that with all the things that she had in her past, all the mistakes she had made, she only regretted the things she had failed to do.

In the Church, we often talk about what it means to sin. We all know the basics: Don't drink. Don't swear. Don't wear immodest clothes. Don't kill, steal, worship false idols, or lie. These would all be sins of commission- things we do that we aren't supposed to. Of course, we also talk about the things we should do: Be kind and loving. Study your scriptures. Pray always. Go to Church. Fulfill your responsibilities. To not do these things would be sins of omission.

We all know the consequences of sins of commission. First, there are temporal consequences. We find ourselves in some kind of bondage, be it inappropriate friendships, addictions, jail, etc. There are also spiritual consequences. We are unable to see clearly, to feel the Spirit, to know the goodness within us or around us.

But lately, I have begun to feel the consequences of sins of omission. I'm not sure that "sin" is exactly the right word for such a circumstance, but then, I don't know everything. We have all heard that nowhere is there a gravestone that says, "I wish I would have worked more." In the end, the things that really matter are people, truth, and goodness. In the end of things, or even in the middle of things, I will never wish that I had spent more time watching tv, more time on the internet, or even more time playing solitaire. In the end, I will wish that I had loved more, taught more, and experienced more. I will either wish that I had taken better care of myself or be grateful that I had taken the time I needed to take to be healthy. I will either wish that my kids knew more and were better prepared, or I will be grateful that they are capable and know that they are loved. I will either wish I had done more with my time, or I will be able to look back and say, "I did everything I could. I didn't know how I could do any better than I did. And, as I did, I learned and became able to do more and to do better." In the end, I will either have fulfilled dreams and goals, or I would have wished that I could have dreamed and made goals.

I am 26 years old right now, hopefully not yet at the halfway point in my life. I have a few goals, and many dreams, and the biggest of those have begun to be fulfilled. Yet, I have a whole life still ahead of me. I have hundreds of days, thousands of hours yet to be filled. How will I fill them? What kinds of activities will lead to the day when I can look back on my life and be satisfied? How can I come to the point when I both hear, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant," and can be able to accept it with grace because I know in my heart that, while my life was not perfect, it truly was the best I could give? Such a moment, I think, would be far greater than I now understand.